DEALING WITH BEING A VERY TALL GIRL

Jag har velat skriva om min längd väldigt länge, men inte riktigt vetat hur jag ska formulera mig eftersom det är något väldigt komplext för mig. Först och främst riktar jag detta inlägg till alla långa tjejer där ute, för att jag själv alltid känt att jag behövt fler röster att relatera till, som dagligen går igenom samma saker och förstår hur det är. Men jag skriver också detta till er som inte behöver böja er ner på gruppselfies, knöla in era långa ben bakom sätet framför i flygplan och sällan hittar jeans som inte ser ut som någon slags piratbyxor. Förhoppningsvis kan detta inlägg skapa lite förståelse hos er med.

Jag är 180 cm och har fram till för några år sedan alltid varit längst i klassen, på festen, i gänget. Min längd är en del av mig och har definitivt format mig som person, på gott och ont.

Det är något med just längd som av någon anledning anses helt okej att kommentera, till skillnad från andra kroppsliga features (hur ofta kommenterar någon storleken på andra människors näsor, till exempel?). Jag får svara på frågan om min längd minst en gång i veckan, jag har “på skoj” fått ställa mig rygg mot rygg med snubbar som vill jämföra sin längd med min på krogen oräkneliga gånger. Fått kommentarer om hur jag borde börja spela basket eller modella, och hur svårt det måste vara för mig att hitta en pojkvän med min längd. För det mesta sker alla dessa reaktioner av genuin välvilja, eller i alla fall utan ont uppsåt, men att ständigt behöva förhålla sig till sin längd och bli påmind om att man sticker ut från normen är påfrestande. Att inte kunna välja att smälta in i massan en grå dag när man helst av allt bara vill glida obemärkt förbi.

De allra flesta dagar älskar jag min längd. Jag har alltid levt efter mottot att det är bortkastad tid att låta sig dras ned av något man ändå inte kan ändra på. Dessutom har jag både karriär och karaktär att tacka mina 180 centimeter för. Men det som får det att klia i fingrarna av frustration är tanken på hur många gånger jag känt en önskan att bara få vara den “lilla tjejen” i andras ögon. Att jag känner mig så bekväm bredvid mina längre familjemedlemmar eller kompisar i GBG, trots att jag klart och tydligt ser den direkta korrelationen mellan denna känsla och samhällets könsnormer. Det gör mig rasande att något så banalt ska få sluka värdefull energi från mig och tusentals andra långa tjejer. Att jag var SÅ nära att inte låta en av de finaste, smartaste och varmaste personerna jag träffat (och kärat ner mig i) komma mig nära bara för att mitt huvud är ett par centimeter längre från marken än hans. Det är svindlande.  Visst händer det ibland att jag måste googla långa kändisar för att muntra upp mig själv, att jag då och då väljer bort skor med för hög klack eller att jag ibland tycker att det är jobbigt att vara längre än min kille. Det är liksom något jag fortfarande kämpar med. Men för det mesta mår jag bra i min längd, och det är något som har blivit lättare och lättare med åren. Jag vill egentligen bara förmedla en känsla av gemenskap och igenkänning med detta inlägg, inte vara en av alla befallande “sträck på dig!”-uppmaningar, men kanske en påminnelse om hur mycket man kan missa om man låter normerna ta över. KRAM <3

I’ve been wanting to write a post about my height for a very long time, but just not quite known how to express myself since it’s something very complicated for me. First and foremost, I am writing this post for all the tall girls out there, because I’ve always felt a lack of other girls to relate to, who goes through the same things ad I do every day, and understand how it is. But I also write this to those of you who don’t need to bend in group selfies, to tuck in your long legs behind the seat in front of you at the aircraft and rarely find jeans that doesn’t look like some kind of capri trousers. Hopefully this post can help you understand us tallies too.

I am 180 cm tall and have until a few years ago always been the tallest one in the class, at the party, in the gang. My height is a part of me and has definitely shaped me as a person, both in good and bad ways.

By some reason, people seem to think it’s totally okay to comment on people’s length, unlike other bodily features (how often does people comment the size of other people’s noses, for example?). I get to answer to questions about my height several times a week, having guys placing themselves back to back with me to compare their length with mine countless times. Received comments on how I should start playing basketball or model, and how difficult it must be for me to find a boyfriend. Mostly, I know people doesn’t mean to be rude, but constantly having to talk about my length and to be reminded that it stands out from the norm is stressful. Not being able to blend in with the mass a gray day when all you want is to slip by unnoticed.

Most days I love my height. I have always lived by the motto that it’s a waste of time allowing yourself to be dragged down by something you can’t change anyway. Also, I have my 180 cm’s to thank for both both career and character. However, what makes my fingers of frustration is the thought of how many times I’ve felt the desire to just be the “little cute girl” in the eyes of others. I feel soo comfortable next to my taller family members or friends in Gothenburg even though I clearly see the direct correlation between that feeling and society’s gender norms. It makes me furious that something so banal steals so much valuable energy from me, and thousands of other tall girls. I was so close to not let one of the nicest, smartest and warmest people I’ve met (and fallen in love with) come close to me just because my head is a couple of centimeters further from the ground than his. Sure,  it happens that I sometimes have to cheer myself up by googling tall celebrities, that I occasionally opt out shoes with high heels or that I sometimes find it hard to be taller then my boyfriend. It’s something I’m still struggeling with. But for the most part, I feel good being tall, and it’s actually getting easier and easier over the years. I really just want to make you feel solidarity and recognition with this post, and give you a friendly reminder of how much you can miss out on if you let norms and gender roles take over. HUGS <3


(when I didn’t get to wear heels on set haha)

23 responses to “DEALING WITH BEING A VERY TALL GIRL

  1. Sofia says:

    Kan inte relatera pga 158 cm MEN måste bara säga att bilden efter texten är som tagen ur SKAM haha, så jäkla fränt.

  2. Lucie says:

    I’m very small and it used to bother me a lot, but lately I’ve just felt exactly like you, and I just can’t bother to feel bad about Something that I can’t change, and Something that doesn’t mean that much anyway. Whether you’re too tall, too small, too big, too tiny, too loud or too quiet, you’re always ‘too’ Something, and I’ve just grown really comfortable with this idea.
    I embrace it now. It’s me, and I love it.

    Lucie, xx

    http://thefrenchpier.blogspot.com/

  3. Jessi says:

    Hello, Ebba. I’m a short person and I wanted to tell you my point of view. I’m 154 cm and I’ve been bullied most of my life because of it, so I grew up hating my height. My boyfriend is 176 cm and I hate the height difference between us, I find it so weird. People always tell me that short girls are cute, but I find that a bit sexist to be honest. Even though my height is the complete opposite as yours, I think we both have something in common: we wish people stopped commenting on our heights.
    If I have to be honest, I feel like people generally don’t take us short people seriously. And it’s worse if you’re a woman. Like, everyone tells me “Oooooh, you’re so short, how cute!” and it just gets on my nerves because I don’t want to be seen as “short”, “small”, “cute”, etc., but as a human being. Does that make sense? XD. I’m 27 and, due to my height, people always tell me I look underage, and I hate it so much, even though they say it as a compliment. I don’t know why, but I find it a bit weird. My biggest frustrated dream has always been to be like 175 cm tall, xD. I guess we all want what we can’t have, don’t we?
    I really liked your post, it made me see things in a different light. I always thought that if I were tall I’d be happy, but now I see that tall girls have it hard too. Thank you.
    Have a nice day ?❤

  4. E says:

    TACK för att du skrev om detta!! <3 Är själv 180 cm och längre än min pojkvän, och ibland är jag rädd för vad andra ska tycka. Men det är ju så jävla dumt egentligen. Kan i alla fall se ned på alla idioter haha. 😉

  5. E says:

    Thank you! i’m also 180 cm tall and sometimes i’ve thought that i’m oversensitive about my height but like you wrote it’s not nice to hear about your enormous size every single time when i met someone new…. Kisses from Poland

  6. Lux says:

    Hi Ebba,
    I can totally relate to your post! I was always very tall for my age and I reached my current height (183 cm) at the age of 13. With that being said, I guess there’s no need to point out that my elementary school experience was NOT one of the nicest. Kids can be very cruel, but that’s somewhat understandable. But what I can’t wrap my head around is that a big part of those comments came from adults (I was also very thin so it was usually combined with skinny shaming). Being adult myself now, I cannot imagine giving semi-insulting/crude remarks to a random 10 year old girl about her appearance. It baffles me, really, the things some people will do. Especially because as a child/young teen, you don’t really know how to stand up for yourself. I was often given advice to simply ignore such comments, but I’m not sure it’s a very good advice. It didn’t work well, at least not for me.

    But you know what did work? Growing up! 🙂 Nowadays I’m comfortable and happy with my height. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Changing school (going to high school) was one of the best things for me because I left that toxic atmosphere behind, and suddenly there were more tall people around. Even girls! 🙂 Coming to uni, I realized nobody really gives a f*ck about that anymore.
    I sincerely hope that the height difference won’t stand between you and your BF! I was always extremely self conscious when dating a shorter guy. I know it’s stupid, and I hate that it shows how much of an influence society’s standards have on me, but knowing all of that didn’t stop me from feeling a bit awkward every time we were out in public. And it’s such a silly thing to stand in a way of love.

    Puss :*

  7. chi says:

    Ebba, thank you for your post! I think it’s really telling that I’ve experienced exactly the same feelings as you, not for being tall, but for being short. For my whole life I’ve been the shortest person in any crowd my age and what Jessi said above is 100% spot on ^. I hate being a “little cute girl” in the eyes of strangers who don’t even know me. What makes people think it’s OK to just grab someone and pick them up because they’re small?? Or to say rude things about their appearance (like it must be hard for you to find a boyfriend)? It is sad that, tall or small, girls are made to feel like there’s always something wrong with them. I’m glad that some of us are finally on the road to self-acceptance but it really should start much earlier so that teenage girls don’t have their energy wasted when they’re growing up. Imagine how much more we could achieve if we weren’t held back!

    http://offbeatgen.blogspot.com

  8. CL says:

    Hi Ebba ! Thank you for this post, i really relate as a tall (and “””skinny”””) girl myself. I’ve been following you for a while and i really like the direction the blog is taking these past months…(more inspiration/spontanneous-like posts). I don’t know, i like to think that when I read your blog i get to know YOU and not just the clothes you were (even if that can say a lot) or the brands you partner with.
    I thought that i would really like to read a post about your relationship with make-up…i don’t know if you’ve done this before. My relationship with make-up is quite conflicting…i don’t like wearing it (i don’t like how it feels on my skin), and yet I find it very challenging to go out without a bit of BB Cream to hide my acne and/or mascara to make me look less tired. I saw in some of your pictures that you seem to be wearing quite a lot of make-up : how do you feel about this ? is this something that you like (like a nice accessory or something) or that you feel obliged to ? Are you annoyed with these women (quite often the “parisian” tyoe of girls) taking pride in being “natural”, not wearing make-up, etc. (i am). I would looove to know your point of view on this topic !
    Thanks and keep up the good work 🙂
    C.

  9. Nutri says:

    Hi! It felt so good to read that post! Thank you! I am 183 tall girl and I hated it for most of my teenage years. I know how annoying is when the first thing people tell you when meeting you is: “Hi, oh wow you are so tall!” (My inner voice always replies: Oh wait really? I havent’t noticed that till you told me). Knowing that they don’t mean a bad thing doesn’t really help. Just of a pure rebel and “f**k you” attitude I always told people that I do not want to be a model or that I hate sports.
    Now, I’m a lot better with my height and I always treat what people say about it as a compliment even when they do not mean that. Thank you for this post! It really means a lot to me.

    1. Anna says:

      @nutri:
      I always think the exact same thing ‘really, I thought I was short, thank you for telling me that I am tall’

      I hate that with 1,82 you are not able to wear heels without having people comment, that you’re tall anyways. Like seriously? I like heels and yes i am tall, but I am already taller than pretty much everybody without wearing heels so why do those extra 10 cm make a difference?

      Great post ebba!

  10. S says:

    Tack för att du skrev om detta, gör ont i hjärtat för att jag känner igen mig såå. Tack för att jag inte länge känner mig ensam

  11. sara says:

    how much I understand you…and the jeans turned into the capri trousers…. the same

    http://7-sevendays.blogspot.it/

  12. JaMychal says:

    You have IDEAL height. At least for me cuz im 2.03 CM haha

  13. Mimi says:

    Hi Ebba, I’m a bit late to the party, but I’m just now catching up on all your posts after returning from 10 weeks of backpacking through Chile and Argentina =) I’m 185cm tall myself and can relate to your post 1000%! Especially the part about wanting to be the cute little girl once in a while and at the same time absolutely recognising I’m being influenced by gender stereotypes (same with wanting a boyfriend who’s taller than me). A colleague I met a few months ago told me how she used to feel the same and now she’s happier than ever with her boyfriend who’s about 10cm shorter than her! So you and that girl are encouraging me not to push short guys away 🙂 Thank you so much for that post (and all the others of course)

    1. ebba says:

      This makes me soo happy <3

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