Jag har velat skriva om min lÀngd vÀldigt lÀnge, men inte riktigt vetat hur jag ska formulera mig eftersom det Àr nÄgot vÀldigt komplext för mig. Först och frÀmst riktar jag detta inlÀgg till alla lÄnga tjejer dÀr ute, för att jag sjÀlv alltid kÀnt att jag behövt fler röster att relatera till, som dagligen gÄr igenom samma saker och förstÄr hur det Àr. Men jag skriver ocksÄ detta till er som inte behöver böja er ner pÄ gruppselfies, knöla in era lÄnga ben bakom sÀtet framför i flygplan och sÀllan hittar jeans som inte ser ut som nÄgon slags piratbyxor. Förhoppningsvis kan detta inlÀgg skapa lite förstÄelse hos er med.
Jag Àr 180 cm och har fram till för nÄgra Är sedan alltid varit lÀngst i klassen, pÄ festen, i gÀnget. Min lÀngd Àr en del av mig och har definitivt format mig som person, pÄ gott och ont.
Det Ă€r nĂ„got med just lĂ€ngd som av nĂ„gon anledning anses helt okej att kommentera, till skillnad frĂ„n andra kroppsliga features (hur ofta kommenterar nĂ„gon storleken pĂ„ andra mĂ€nniskors nĂ€sor, till exempel?). Jag fĂ„r svara pĂ„ frĂ„gan om min lĂ€ngd minst en gĂ„ng i veckan, jag har “pĂ„ skoj” fĂ„tt stĂ€lla mig rygg mot rygg med snubbar som vill jĂ€mföra sin lĂ€ngd med min pĂ„ krogen orĂ€kneliga gĂ„nger. FĂ„tt kommentarer om hur jag borde börja spela basket eller modella, och hur svĂ„rt det mĂ„ste vara för mig att hitta en pojkvĂ€n med min lĂ€ngd. För det mesta sker alla dessa reaktioner av genuin vĂ€lvilja, eller i alla fall utan ont uppsĂ„t, men att stĂ€ndigt behöva förhĂ„lla sig till sin lĂ€ngd och bli pĂ„mind om att man sticker ut frĂ„n normen Ă€r pĂ„frestande. Att inte kunna vĂ€lja att smĂ€lta in i massan en grĂ„ dag nĂ€r man helst av allt bara vill glida obemĂ€rkt förbi.
De allra flesta dagar Ă€lskar jag min lĂ€ngd. Jag har alltid levt efter mottot att det Ă€r bortkastad tid att lĂ„ta sig dras ned av nĂ„got man Ă€ndĂ„ inte kan Ă€ndra pĂ„. Dessutom har jag bĂ„de karriĂ€r och karaktĂ€r att tacka mina 180 centimeter för. Men det som fĂ„r det att klia i fingrarna av frustration Ă€r tanken pĂ„ hur mĂ„nga gĂ„nger jag kĂ€nt en önskan att bara fĂ„ vara den “lilla tjejen” i andras ögon. Att jag kĂ€nner mig sĂ„ bekvĂ€m bredvid mina lĂ€ngre familjemedlemmar eller kompisar i GBG, trots att jag klart och tydligt ser den direkta korrelationen mellan denna kĂ€nsla och samhĂ€llets könsnormer. Det gör mig rasande att nĂ„got sĂ„ banalt ska fĂ„ sluka vĂ€rdefull energi frĂ„n mig och tusentals andra lĂ„nga tjejer. Att jag var SĂ nĂ€ra att inte lĂ„ta en av de finaste, smartaste och varmaste personerna jag trĂ€ffat (och kĂ€rat ner mig i) komma mig nĂ€ra bara för att mitt huvud Ă€r ett par centimeter lĂ€ngre frĂ„n marken Ă€n hans. Det Ă€r svindlande.  Visst hĂ€nder det ibland att jag mĂ„ste googla lĂ„nga kĂ€ndisar för att muntra upp mig sjĂ€lv, att jag dĂ„ och dĂ„ vĂ€ljer bort skor med för hög klack eller att jag ibland tycker att det Ă€r jobbigt att vara lĂ€ngre Ă€n min kille. Det Ă€r liksom nĂ„got jag fortfarande kĂ€mpar med. Men för det mesta mĂ„r jag bra i min lĂ€ngd, och det Ă€r nĂ„got som har blivit lĂ€ttare och lĂ€ttare med Ă„ren. Jag vill egentligen bara förmedla en kĂ€nsla av gemenskap och igenkĂ€nning med detta inlĂ€gg, inte vara en av alla befallande “strĂ€ck pĂ„ dig!”-uppmaningar, men kanske en pĂ„minnelse om hur mycket man kan missa om man lĂ„ter normerna ta över. KRAM <3
I’ve been wanting to write a post about my height for a very long time, but just not quite known how to express myself since it’s something very complicated for me. First and foremost, I am writing this post for all the tall girls out there, because I’ve always felt a lack of other girls to relate to, who goes through the same things ad I do every day, and understand how it is. But I also write this to those of you who don’t need to bend in group selfies, to tuck in your long legs behind the seat in front of you at the aircraft and rarely find jeans that doesn’t look like some kind of capri trousers. Hopefully this post can help you understand us tallies too.
I am 180 cm tall and have until a few years ago always been the tallest one in the class, at the party, in the gang. My height is a part of me and has definitely shaped me as a person, both in good and bad ways.
By some reason, people seem to think it’s totally okay to comment on people’s length, unlike other bodily features (how often does people comment the size of other people’s noses, for example?). I get to answer to questions about my height several times a week, having guys placing themselves back to back with me to compare their length with mine countless times. Received comments on how I should start playing basketball or model, and how difficult it must be for me to find a boyfriend. Mostly, I know people doesn’t mean to be rude, but constantly having to talk about my length and to be reminded that it stands out from the norm is stressful. Not being able to blend in with the mass a gray day when all you want is to slip by unnoticed.
Most days I love my height. I have always lived by the motto that it’s a waste of time allowing yourself to be dragged down by something you can’t change anyway. Also, I have my 180 cm’s to thank for both both career and character. However, what makes my fingers of frustration is the thought of how many times I’ve felt the desire to just be the “little cute girl” in the eyes of others. I feel soo comfortable next to my taller family members or friends in Gothenburg even though I clearly see the direct correlation between that feeling and society’s gender norms. It makes me furious that something so banal steals so much valuable energy from me, and thousands of other tall girls. I was so close to not let one of the nicest, smartest and warmest people I’ve met (and fallen in love with) come close to me just because my head is a couple of centimeters further from the ground than his. Sure,  it happens that I sometimes have to cheer myself up by googling tall celebrities, that I occasionally opt out shoes with high heels or that I sometimes find it hard to be taller then my boyfriend. It’s something I’m still struggeling with. But for the most part, I feel good being tall, and it’s actually getting easier and easier over the years. I really just want to make you feel solidarity and recognition with this post, and give you a friendly reminder of how much you can miss out on if you let norms and gender roles take over. HUGS <3
(when I didn’t get to wear heels on set haha)
Kan inte relatera pga 158 cm MEN mÄste bara sÀga att bilden efter texten Àr som tagen ur SKAM haha, sÄ jÀkla frÀnt.
I’m very small and it used to bother me a lot, but lately I’ve just felt exactly like you, and I just can’t bother to feel bad about Something that I can’t change, and Something that doesn’t mean that much anyway. Whether you’re too tall, too small, too big, too tiny, too loud or too quiet, you’re always ‘too’ Something, and I’ve just grown really comfortable with this idea.
I embrace it now. It’s me, and I love it.
Lucie, xx
http://thefrenchpier.blogspot.com/
Hello, Ebba. I’m a short person and I wanted to tell you my point of view. I’m 154 cm and I’ve been bullied most of my life because of it, so I grew up hating my height. My boyfriend is 176 cm and I hate the height difference between us, I find it so weird. People always tell me that short girls are cute, but I find that a bit sexist to be honest. Even though my height is the complete opposite as yours, I think we both have something in common: we wish people stopped commenting on our heights.
If I have to be honest, I feel like people generally don’t take us short people seriously. And it’s worse if you’re a woman. Like, everyone tells me “Oooooh, you’re so short, how cute!” and it just gets on my nerves because I don’t want to be seen as “short”, “small”, “cute”, etc., but as a human being. Does that make sense? XD. I’m 27 and, due to my height, people always tell me I look underage, and I hate it so much, even though they say it as a compliment. I don’t know why, but I find it a bit weird. My biggest frustrated dream has always been to be like 175 cm tall, xD. I guess we all want what we can’t have, don’t we?
I really liked your post, it made me see things in a different light. I always thought that if I were tall I’d be happy, but now I see that tall girls have it hard too. Thank you.
Have a nice day ?â€
TACK för att du skrev om detta!! <3 Ăr sjĂ€lv 180 cm och lĂ€ngre Ă€n min pojkvĂ€n, och ibland Ă€r jag rĂ€dd för vad andra ska tycka. Men det Ă€r ju sĂ„ jĂ€vla dumt egentligen. Kan i alla fall se ned pĂ„ alla idioter haha. đ
Thank you! i’m also 180 cm tall and sometimes i’ve thought that i’m oversensitive about my height but like you wrote it’s not nice to hear about your enormous size every single time when i met someone new…. Kisses from Poland
Hi Ebba,
I can totally relate to your post! I was always very tall for my age and I reached my current height (183 cm) at the age of 13. With that being said, I guess there’s no need to point out that my elementary school experience was NOT one of the nicest. Kids can be very cruel, but that’s somewhat understandable. But what I can’t wrap my head around is that a big part of those comments came from adults (I was also very thin so it was usually combined with skinny shaming). Being adult myself now, I cannot imagine giving semi-insulting/crude remarks to a random 10 year old girl about her appearance. It baffles me, really, the things some people will do. Especially because as a child/young teen, you don’t really know how to stand up for yourself. I was often given advice to simply ignore such comments, but I’m not sure it’s a very good advice. It didn’t work well, at least not for me.
But you know what did work? Growing up! đ Nowadays I’m comfortable and happy with my height. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Changing school (going to high school) was one of the best things for me because I left that toxic atmosphere behind, and suddenly there were more tall people around. Even girls! đ Coming to uni, I realized nobody really gives a f*ck about that anymore.
I sincerely hope that the height difference won’t stand between you and your BF! I was always extremely self conscious when dating a shorter guy. I know it’s stupid, and I hate that it shows how much of an influence society’s standards have on me, but knowing all of that didn’t stop me from feeling a bit awkward every time we were out in public. And it’s such a silly thing to stand in a way of love.
Puss :*
Ebba, thank you for your post! I think it’s really telling that I’ve experienced exactly the same feelings as you, not for being tall, but for being short. For my whole life I’ve been the shortest person in any crowd my age and what Jessi said above is 100% spot on ^. I hate being a “little cute girl” in the eyes of strangers who don’t even know me. What makes people think it’s OK to just grab someone and pick them up because they’re small?? Or to say rude things about their appearance (like it must be hard for you to find a boyfriend)? It is sad that, tall or small, girls are made to feel like there’s always something wrong with them. I’m glad that some of us are finally on the road to self-acceptance but it really should start much earlier so that teenage girls don’t have their energy wasted when they’re growing up. Imagine how much more we could achieve if we weren’t held back!
http://offbeatgen.blogspot.com
Hi Ebba ! Thank you for this post, i really relate as a tall (and “””skinny”””) girl myself. I’ve been following you for a while and i really like the direction the blog is taking these past months…(more inspiration/spontanneous-like posts). I don’t know, i like to think that when I read your blog i get to know YOU and not just the clothes you were (even if that can say a lot) or the brands you partner with.
I thought that i would really like to read a post about your relationship with make-up…i don’t know if you’ve done this before. My relationship with make-up is quite conflicting…i don’t like wearing it (i don’t like how it feels on my skin), and yet I find it very challenging to go out without a bit of BB Cream to hide my acne and/or mascara to make me look less tired. I saw in some of your pictures that you seem to be wearing quite a lot of make-up : how do you feel about this ? is this something that you like (like a nice accessory or something) or that you feel obliged to ? Are you annoyed with these women (quite often the “parisian” tyoe of girls) taking pride in being “natural”, not wearing make-up, etc. (i am). I would looove to know your point of view on this topic !
Thanks and keep up the good work đ
C.
Hi! It felt so good to read that post! Thank you! I am 183 tall girl and I hated it for most of my teenage years. I know how annoying is when the first thing people tell you when meeting you is: “Hi, oh wow you are so tall!” (My inner voice always replies: Oh wait really? I havent’t noticed that till you told me). Knowing that they don’t mean a bad thing doesn’t really help. Just of a pure rebel and “f**k you” attitude I always told people that I do not want to be a model or that I hate sports.
Now, I’m a lot better with my height and I always treat what people say about it as a compliment even when they do not mean that. Thank you for this post! It really means a lot to me.
@nutri:
I always think the exact same thing ‘really, I thought I was short, thank you for telling me that I am tall’
I hate that with 1,82 you are not able to wear heels without having people comment, that you’re tall anyways. Like seriously? I like heels and yes i am tall, but I am already taller than pretty much everybody without wearing heels so why do those extra 10 cm make a difference?
Great post ebba!
Tack för att du skrev om detta, gör ont i hjÀrtat för att jag kÀnner igen mig sÄÄ. Tack för att jag inte lÀnge kÀnner mig ensam
<3
how much I understand you…and the jeans turned into the capri trousers…. the same
http://7-sevendays.blogspot.it/
You have IDEAL height. At least for me cuz im 2.03 CM haha
Hi Ebba, I’m a bit late to the party, but I’m just now catching up on all your posts after returning from 10 weeks of backpacking through Chile and Argentina =) I’m 185cm tall myself and can relate to your post 1000%! Especially the part about wanting to be the cute little girl once in a while and at the same time absolutely recognising I’m being influenced by gender stereotypes (same with wanting a boyfriend who’s taller than me). A colleague I met a few months ago told me how she used to feel the same and now she’s happier than ever with her boyfriend who’s about 10cm shorter than her! So you and that girl are encouraging me not to push short guys away đ Thank you so much for that post (and all the others of course)
This makes me soo happy <3
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